THE GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE TO LIQUOR

What constitutes a bourbon? What ingredients are used to make vodka? And what does rum have to do with Staten Island? You may think being in college gives you the authority on all things alcohol, yet why do most of us always order the basic screwdriver or vodka cranberry? You may think being in college gives you the authority on all things alcohol, but inebriation has rules, gentlemen, so before you order that whiskey on the rocks check out our basic guide to the world of rum, whiskey and vodka.

RUM

Sea faring and hangover bearing, rum had its upbringing in the Caribbean and comes from sugarcane juice or molasses. Its color depends on where and for how long it is aged. America’s first distillery was actually in Staten Island and rum was originally called kill-devil due to terrible hangovers (we’re guessing pirates weren’t morning people).

Light Rum

Light rum, also known as silver or white rum, originates in countries such as Puerto Rico, Colombia and the Dominican Republic and is often used as a base for cocktails such as daiquiris, mai tais and mojitos because of its light, sweet taste. It retains its clarity because it is fermented in steel barrels and filtered after aging to remove its color.

Gold/Dark Rums

Gold and darker rums are stronger and more flavorful than lighter rums. They originate in countries such as Bermuda, Trinidad and Jamaica and, according to GQ, are aged in charred oak barrels that once contained bourbon whiskey. They can be mixed, but they are traditionally consumed solo or used when cooking. Never confuse these with spiced rums, which are top sellers at liquor stores in areas that are highly populated with college students. “Most students that come in here buy Captain Morgan because they think it’s good”, said Al Broche, manager of Gulf Liquors. Spiced rums, like The Captain, contain extra spices and artificial vanilla and caramel coloring to cover up cheap base spirits- the culprit of your wondrous post-Grove mornings.

WHISKEY

If there is a type of alcohol manlier than whiskey, please rise now. No takers? We thought so. After all, whiskey is produced only after making beer. According to whiskyforeveryone.com, there are two types of whiskey: malt whiskey, which comes from malted barley, and grain whiskey, which comes from corn, wheat or rye. A single malted whiskey is created in one distillery, whereas blended malts are a mixture of whiskies from many. Whiskey has its origins, like most great beverages, in Ireland and Scotland- Once upon a time, their monastic distilleries lacked the grapes to make wine, so they made barley beer instead.

Irish Whiskey

Besides shamrocks and Guinness, Irish whiskey is Ireland’s claim to fame. It has a much smoother and delicate taste than scotch, which is why it is often mixed to make Irish coffee. Notable brands are Baileys and Jameson.

Scottish Whisky

Clearly, scotch is the cool kid on the block, dropping the “e” and adopting the “whisky” spelling. “Scotch Whisky is the second most popular spirit in the United States and, I believe the most popular in the world. Johnny Walker Black is certainly Miami’s favorite scotch”, said Scott Mayer, head bartender at Señora Martinez, a popular restaurant in the Design District, known for their ever changing and creative drink menu. Scotches have a much smokier taste than Irish Whiskeys, and prefer to be sipped solo.

Bourbon Whiskey

We as Americans should appreciate Kentucky, not just because they gave us fried chicken, but also because they gave us bourbon. In order to be considered bourbon, the whiskey must be produced in the United States, made of at least 51% corn and aged in new barrels for at least two years. Budget friendly versions include Jim Beam and Evan Williams. If you want a smoother taste, splurge on Makers Mark. Similar to Bourbon is Tennessee Whiskey, most notably Jack Daniels. This type is filtered through ten feet of sugar maple charcoal after distillation, which according to whiskydistilled.com, “refines the whiskey’s flavour, giving it a distinctive sweet taste. Plus, it apparently removes further impurities called congeners from the alcohol”, which are the little fiends that gave whiskey a bad rep for hangovers.

Rye Whiskey

While it’s uncertain if George Washington had a cherry tree, we are sure that he had a rye whiskey distillery. Rye has a bold, bitter and peppery taste, and is also aged in charred oak barrels. While American brands are made with rye, Canadian rye whisky, such as Crown Royal, actually contain little or no rye at all.

A Whisky DON’T

NEVER order whiskey on the rocks, lest you want to be shunned by the Gods of Barley. According to Scott, “The argument for drinking whiskey with a splash of water instead of on the rocks is all about dilution. Most bars use copious amounts of cheap and fast melting ice in their drinks. They do this to (a) make the drink appear to be larger and (b) to keep the customer from noticing any imperfections in the spirit”. Instead, ask for whiskey and a splash of water - this actually brings out the flavors and dulls the sizzling sensation you feel as it trickles down your throat.

VODKA

Vodka, a spirit so sneaky even Sherlock Holmes would have difficulty framing it. According to the Bureau of Alcohol, vodka is classified as a “neutral spirit, so distilled, or so treated after distillation…as to be without distinctive character, aroma, taste, or color.” While vodka is definitely a drink that will sneak up on your sobriety, you can be rest assured that it is more forgiving when it comes to weight gain. “Vodka is popular because it has less calories than liquor. Being a bartender in Miami, you get a lot of customers who order vodka and club soda because it’s the healthiest thing to drink. Big cities like Miami, NYC, L.A.- I’m sure find that vodka club is very popular since looking your best is a priority” said Brooke Weidhaas, a senior and bartender at JohnMartin’s Irish Pub and Restaurant

The Origins

Originating in Russia and Northern/Eastern Europe around 1400 A.D., the name “vodka” stems from the Russian word “voda” meaning “water” (although we don’t recommend replacing this with your H20), according to probrewer.com. It did not gain popularity in the U.S. until the 1930s and 1940s when Smirnoff made its way to the land of the free. “Brought to America in 1939, Smirnoff spearheaded the cocktail revolution in the U.S. as Americans were introduced to the versatility of ‘white whiskey’ in such drinks as the Bloody Mary, Cosmopolitan, Kamikaze, Martini and Moscow Mule”, as stated by thebar.com. This “white whisky” can be distilled from any fermentable ingredient: potatoes, corn and, most commonly today, grains such as wheat.

The Process

Unlike whiskey and rum, vodka does not have different categorizations and is not aged. Instead, grains, vegetables and malt are mixed in a mash tub, somewhat like a washing machine. The mash then goes through sterilization and fermentation. The liquid that results after the ingredients are distilled usually contains 95 to 100% alcohol, so water is added to decrease the alcohol percentage (usually to about 40%) to make the Vodka drinkable.

How to Drink It

Because vodka is so pure and odorless, it can be mixed with practically anything. The Russians wash it down with beer, but in America it is commonly used in lemon drops, bloody mary's and martinis. We like ours shaken, not stirred.

Gentleman's Guide to Liquor